Dealing with Challenging conversations with your team.

Are you the kind of Team Leader who shies away from having “challenging conversations” with people in your team, preferring instead to simply hope issues of poor performance and difficult team dynamics will address themselves? This is the situation Team Manager “Rangi” (not their real name) raised in supervision,finding that their approach of hoping for things to improve was not working. Rangi knew that it was time to take a more deliberate approach to discussing matters with staff, but was worried this could negatively impact their relationship with the team members involved.

Issues ofunder performance can have a large impact in small teams. Plus, knowing team members for many years (irrespective of how long you’ve worked with them in the current team) can make raising issues of concern more challenging. This was the position Rangi found themselves in. One staff member in their team had worked for the organisation for many years so had no excuse for not following and completing processes and timeframes. Another team member was newer to the organisation, but had a long history wth Rangi, so Rangi was aware of the team member’s response to issues in previous roles, which left Rangi feeling reluctant to have the kōrero needed with them.

Guidelines for having challenging conversations

One thing that struck me about how Rangi raised the issue of needing to talk with staff was the way Rangi asked “how can I help them realise their potential?”. Rather than take a belittling or blaming approach, Rangi genuinely sought to manage the issues in ways that helped build team members’ competence. This was excellent to note, as it set Rangi up to have the kōrero in a way that was likely to result in a positive outcome. It meant that not only would their focus touch on what staff members were currently doing well, but also what could be achievable in the future. This was an excellent foundation to the proposed kōrero.

We considered a couple of key things to help support Rangi with these upcoming conversations. One was reframing the activity, so rather than referring to it as “conflict” or “confrontation”, to consider it as a “solution-focused” approach. Rangi instantly noticed feeling more comfortable about the upcoming kōrero from this change in wording, as doing so positioned Rangi and the conversation as seeking positive results. Rangi was familiar with both solution-focused and strengths-based approaches, which gave helpful skills to draw on.

Another question posed was “what kawa might be helpful to consider in this situation?”. This led us to identify that being clear about a kaupapa and process would be beneficial. And, like the kuia who can sometimes cut a whaikōrero (speech) short with their waiata (when a koroua is deemed to have spoken too long), it may be necessary to curtail the kōrero if things are dragging. Thinking about how Rangi has helped clients in previous roles to build their potential and move on from negative behaviours was also helpful. This in turn led us to consider what Rangi would find helpful to use as a framework for the kōrero with team members.

Giving tough feedback

There are a number of excellent frameworks for giving feedback, many of which share several key elements. These include:

• Preparing people (rather than springing feedback on them)
• Balancing positive feedback with clearly identifying issues
• Making “I” statements
• Giving feedback regularly
• Building genuine trust and rapport
• Ensuring there is dialogue (rather than ‘lecturing’)
• Providing support and follow-up

And, as with all mahi in social services, reflection is important. Workers and clients (or team in this instance) all benefit when we consider what went well from a courageous conversation, and what we need to keep working on.

It is also helpful to consider our own experiences of receiving feedback. Whether those experiences were positive or not, there is learning to be had from thinking about these. What was it about each of those experiences which contributed to them being experienced the way they were? Whether in a work or a personal setting, we can seek to replicate what went well and avoid those things that contributed to the conversation being difficult.

Benefits of having difficult conversations

In my experience, giving tough feedback can ultimately strengthen relationships between managers and team members, as the transparency and willingness to raise and constructively address issues is appreciated by staff. It can also build confidence in managers, as they consolidate their skills of conducting challenging conversations in ways that support and build staff mana, rather than diminish it. This can also build confidence placed in team managers by staff, as successfully raising and addressing issues is great modelling for a team. How challenging conversations are handled can therefore support in building team, in part by reinforcing positive values which underpin team culture.

At our following supervision session, Rangi talked about how having a structure to raise feedback with their staff members was very helpful. Rather than being vague, uncertain, and ultimately avoiding a challenging conversation, Rangi felt clearer about the purpose and process for the kōrero. Having a structure kept Rangi on track, and even though one team member was initially avoidant and defensive, Rangi was able to clearly and respectfully communicate the intended message without veering off task. This conversation also laid the foundation for further kōrero, as Rangi and the team member agreed to meet weekly to review the situation, and for Rangi to provide ongoing clarity and support.

Rangi effectively used our supervision sessions to share issues, identify a strategy for how to raise concerns with team members, and then review how effective the strategy was. In sharing progress from addressing the matter raised, we were also able to identify that further clarity needed to be provided to the staff member in order that they understood what these issues and the process meant in relation to employment processes. It was obvious that the benefits of Rangi raising these concerns were many – pertaining to the staff member and their understanding and reaction to the issues, as well as supporting Rangi to step into their role more fully, growing their team member and themselves. This felt like a win:win situation for all involved.

Glossary

Kaupapa – theme, topic, purpose, agenda, subject
Kawa – protocol, customs
Koroua – elderly man, elder
Kōrero – talk, discussion
Mahi – work, job, occupation
Mana – status, prestige, power
Waiata – song, chant
Whaikōrero – formal speech, oratory

Recommended Resource:
Justin Wright – www.brilliancebrief.com